A Couple More Jokes

As I said in an earlier Blog I do not generally post a lot of jokes, however as with any rules there are exceptions. Here are a couple of great ones I heard while out and about.

Enjoy:

The Hypnotist at the Senior Center

After the community sing song led by Alice at the piano it was time for the
Star of the Show- Claude the Hypnotist!

Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance.
"Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claude.

The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from his
waistcoat pocket a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.

"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claude, holding the watch
high for all to see. "It is a very special and valuable watch that has been
in my family for six generations" said Claude.  He began to swing the watch
gently back and forth while quietly chanting "Watch the watch --- Watch the
watch ----Watch the watch"

The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth.  The
lights twinkling as they were reflected from it's gleaming surfaces. a
hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying
watch.

And then, suddenly the chain broke!!!  The beautiful watch fell to the stage
and burst apart on impact"

The Family Dinner

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. So he decides to try it out at dinner.
DAD: Son, where were you today during school?
SON: At school *robot slaps son*
SON: Ok, I went to the movies.
DAD: Which one?
SON: Toy Story *robot slaps son again*
SON: Ok, it was A Day with a Porn Star.
DAD: WHAT?! When I was your age, I didn't even know what porn was. *Robot slaps dad*
MOM: HAHA!! After all he is your son, *Robot slaps mom*

Cheers
The Professor

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