A Spittoon and a Blanket

Yes, what I really meant was a chamber pot; however at one in the morning staging down the long dim hallway with the creaky wooden floors and facing the long stairway down to the bathroom spittoon was all I could think of.

The evening started innocent enough as we were traversing the interstate from K.C. MO to NW Iowa for a visit. I did not have a drink until after 5:00 and I was not driving, but as usually I never went anywhere without my trusty ten shot flask. That day it was loaded with Buffalo Trace Bourbon. By the way it had been awhile since I had imbibed in Buffalo Trace and I had forgotten how good it was. We arrived at the farm and continued happy hour. As the night progressed I opened the new bottle of Four Roses (the official Bourbon of MySideOfTheBar) that Central Patti had purchased as part of a case and kept drinking throughout the night.

As the night progressed and the bottle emptied we headed up the afore mentioned stairs and to bed. I woke a couple of hours later and as you can imagine was very disoriented and in need of the bathroom. Central Patti guided me to the door and down the hall with the wooden floors creaking all the way. I stopped at the top of the stairs trying to regain my bearings and was wondering how bad I really needed to use the bathroom Central Patti said,

“Are you going to be OK going down the steps?”

To which I replied,

“Well if I fall simply toss me a spittoon and throw a blanket over me.”

P.S. I was able to make it to the facilities just fine with a little more help from Central Patti.

The Professor


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